Fantastic Meats employs the most qualified wizards from all walks of life. Each member has been hand selected to fill a specific role on the many expeditions the team goes on in search of the meats of their labors.


Don has been with us from the beginning. His magical skill sets include trapping and blasting spells. He has bagged more mythical monsters than any other member of the Fantastic Meats team.

Don is 54 and has a degree in Evocation from Yale. His hobbies include crochet, building ships in bottles, and genocide.

Chairman Meow

Chairman Meow is the brains of Fantastic Meats. The chairman has intimate knowledge on a plethora of mythical creatures and their hunting, mating, and eating habits. He is an integral part of team Fantastic Meats.

Chairman Meow's exact age is unknown but his birth pre dates the formation of the CATholic church. He learned magic from his father, who learned from his father before him. His hobbies include vermacide, chess, and being adorable.

M.B. McMonigle

M.B.'s expertise lies in his ability to blend in with his surroundings. He is a master illusionist. He often disguises himself as a small ugly child to avoid his multiple enemies. (Shown Here) Just last week a manticore found it's way into M.B.'s home, but the manticore was no match for M.B. Who is the ultimate ambush predator of the wizard world.

M.B. is 48 and has a degree in Illusion & Trickery from Central Washington University. His hobby is posing as 12 year old girl in internet chat rooms.

Dr. Armchair

Dr. Armchair is the teams field medic. She specializes in wards and healing magic.

Dr. Armchair is 38 years old. She graduated from NYU Film School with her PHD in Homeopathic Care. Her hobbies include taxidermy, getting tattoos, and piercings.